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  • What People Don't Tell You About Your "New Story"

    Oh, don’t you just love it when your brain starts to attack you?  (that’s sarcasm) You know what I’m talking about. 

    That nagging voice that tells you you aren’t enough, why are you wasting your time, who are you to do anything or everyone’s favorite - I am unlovable. 

    We humans love to think that we’re broken. We love it so much that even the idea of putting ourselves back together again seems like it’s a waste of time. 

    Who am I if I’m not my story?

    Though we’d never admit it - sometimes doesn’t it feel good (and by good I mean awful yet comfortable) to just wallow in these stories we’ve decided about ourselves? 

    Without our story how would we feel justified for our actions? 

    If we can’t blame things on our story after all, how are we able to slack off or give less than 100% to life?

    Hmm, but what if we started telling a different story? Then what would happen? Would life get better? Oh, you bet your ass it would. 

    But here’s what people who tell you to tell a different story generally forget to mention. IT”S UNCOMFORTABLE. At first that is.

     You are radically shifting your world view to a different frequency and one that feels good. Now, sure you hear this idea of feeling better and you say “Sign me up!” and that is great! Get your name on that page and on your way but don’t expect it all at once. 

    There will be growing pains, you will inevitably fall back into old patterns but THIS TIME you’ll be more aware of them. And THIS TIME instead of going with the old mundane “un-flow” you’ll be able to course correct and get back into YOUR FLOW. So what I’m saying is STOP TELLING THE STORY YOU NO LONGER WANT TO LIVE. 

    And start telling a new & improved one.

    But also realize that it’s not an overnight process and that patience and self-care is needed on this journey.

    And one day you'll wake up and realize your new story is far more the reality of your life than the old. 

    And that my friends, makes it all worth it.

  • Making Decisions

    When you’re faced with a decision (big or small) and you can’t seem to choose, generally one of two things are at play. Either you truly don’t know what you want yet OR anxiety has a hold on you. As a recovered OCD and generally anxious girl I know the latter all too well. Making even the smallest decision could leave me with the fear that my world could come crashing down in seconds. If this fear is something you identify with - read on. If not, well you can read on too or check out this cute dog photo.

    What to do when anxiety has it’s hold on you? One or more of these three things will come in handy:

    1. Call it what it is. When I feel anxiety creeping in or even when my head is spinning so fast I don’t even know what I want anymore, I call anxiety out for what it is. Once I can identify it, it begins to lose it’s power. I’m not trying to push it away or call it names. I’m simply acknowledging its presence. So many of our feelings just want to be acknowledged. It doesn’t mean they’re right, wrong or even sane, they just need to know we’ve heard them. Once you do that you’ll often see it dissipate and you’ll be left wondering what you were so afraid of.
    2. Write about it. Whenever I get super in the throws of an anxiety party I take some time out and write to my Higher Guide about it. Don’t have a Higher Guide or not sure how to access it? Just pull out some paper or a notebook and write to it as you would any letter. You can address it by name or just write “Higher Guide” at the top. For a more comprehensive overview - watch this video. When you can access that all-knowing wiser part of you - anxiety doesn’t stand a chance. Sometimes a quick (or long if you’re feeling it) meditation can help you get deeper into a groove. There are some great tracks to try here that take the question out of how to meditate properly.
    3. Just ask “What do I want?”. When we’re really anxious we stop thinking in terms of simplicity. Everything becomes complicated and intricate generally for no good reason. If you can take a second to pause and ask yourself “What do I actually want?” You’ll be surprised by what may come up. It can be helpful to put a hand on your heart or stomach (gut) when you ask since our deeper knowing comes from these areas. When you get an answer - FOLLOW THROUGH. I know how scary it can be to follow through with a decision in the middle of an anxiety attack but trust me, if you can make it through a few uncomfortable minutes afterwards you’ll come out the other side healthier and more confident in your ability to choose.

    Also know that sometimes you’re not ready for a decision, you may need some more information. In those instances don't be shy, ask for more time. Give yourself an opportunity to really check-in with yourself, do some research and write about it.

    Does any of this resonate with you? How do you deal with anxiety? Leave your comments below. I love hearing from you!

  • Be Magnetic

    We all want to be liked. It’s human nature to crave belonging and community. We want to be most popular among our peers.

    Where we misstep here is trying to be like others. Not only until we let our freak flags fly and our own true inner essence to come through do we truly become magnetic.

    Why would you not be good enough as you are? I’m sure you could go ahed and make a whole list. In fact, do that make a list of all the reasons you’re not good enough in life. 

    Now read this list out loud. 

    Now laugh at each one. 

    Go ahead, don’t think too much about it, just laugh at them. Now take that paper say “No thank you” and rip it up. 

    Take out another piece of paper and write down the reasons you are worthwhile. Write down all those unique qualities that make you you. 

    Now read those out loud and after each one say “thank you”.

    Now at the bottom of that paper write “ I choose to let these parts of me shine.” 

    Now fold up the paper and keep it somewhere safe. 

    You can refer back if you ever feel stuck. You are you for a reason. You have your own unique set of abilities and special sauce to give the world. Own that and people can’t help thinking “Who’s that girl/guy” and be instantly drawn to you.

  • Courage is Your Middle Name

    Bravery is easier said than done. Some of us are extremely courageous, always going out on a limb. Some of us are more timid & shy, quicker to keep to ourselves rather than engaging with others. Some of us may be a combination of both. No matter which of these we are, one thing is surely in common:

    We’ve all found ourselves in situations where we want to call upon our courage.

    It could be anything from talking to someone who intimidates you, asking a favor, speaking your mind or perhaps taking a new adventure. Here are 3 questions to ask yourself to help dig up that much needed courage in the moment:

    1. Will the result of my doing/saying this result in a positive outcome? If the answer is yes, focus on getting to the other side. By realizing only good can come from this action step it will help ease your fears. If you aren’t sure….
    2. What is the worst that can happen if I __________. Really start to think about it. Once we realize the worst isn’t so bad we’re able to find our voice much faster. Or perhaps this will stop you from doing what you were thinking about doing. Really break it down.
    3. Does this resonate with who I am as a person. Forget about your personality traits and focus on the bigger picture here. Will doing/saying this help expand you in a way you’ve been desiring? By saying something will you finally be speaking your truth? Be honest here. Still not sure? Putting a hand on your heart when you ask this question will help. It immediately shifts you more into answering from your whole being. Try it next time you feel stuck.

    And don’t forget, practice makes perfect so though it may seem uncomfortable at first you’ll eventually get the hang of it and Courage will be your middle name!

    What do you do to access your courage? Tweet me @TheFancyHippie to keep the conversation going.