There's this whole idea of feminine energy being sexual, or less than or just "too girly". Women - WTF?! Have you ever felt that feeling where you feel so Divine? Just relaxed and in tune with your body? THAT is feminine energy. Feminine energy is power harnessed deep within your soul. It's the gentle smile that crosses your face when you experience beauty. It's dancing, light, fun, expansion. We give birth to humans wouldn't it make sense that we could give birth to any number of wonderful ideas, careers and projects? Start redefining what feminine energy means to you and start looking for ways you can tap into it more throughout your day. You have a superpower just waiting to be unleashed.
We live in a very fast paced world. Between cell phones and the copious amounts of media we consume on a daily basis it’s no wonder that sometimes we can get overwhelmed and our anxiety can sky rocket. Here are a few tools that I’ve found help when you need to come back to center and ground a bit. (Note: meditation is always my go-to but these are a bit more in the moment)
PUT THE CELL PHONE AWAY: I promise you - you’ll survive. If you don’t need it on you for emergencies and if work isn’t really pressing on it - put it away. Try doing any internet based work on your computer sans cell phone. At dinners keep it tucked away in your bag and fully engage with the person across from you. Humans are interesting too.
Get a grip: When your mind is in total chaos sometimes you’ve just got to hold onto a word or a phrase to get you calm and centered again. There are a lot of great mantras out there but something as simple as the words “I AM” work great. Or put your hand over your heart and/or stomach and focus on your breath.
Make a friend: Engage with the world around you. Take the pressure off yourself for a moment and chat up a stranger or even someone you already know. Being inquisitive about someone else will allow you to forget about yourself for a minute and clear your mind of that incessant chatter. Have your only goal be to listen as well as you can.
What do you do when you can’t seem to calm down your mind?
Somtimes things suck. Yep. It's okay to admit it.
There's definitely clarity to be found in them but somedays it's okay to just let them suck. Feel sad, feel angry, feel betrayed. Give yourself a day to feel it - it's cool. It's not spiritually wrong to have feelings. In fact it's spiritually wonderful to.
Tomorrow will be brighter. Tomorrow can be the day when you seek clarity and figure out how to make peace with things or begin again but for today - the day when you just really want to grab that box of tissues - DO IT. Self-care yourself while you do it too. Don't force it but just do whatever you feel like (so long as it's not destructive) without judgement. Go to a salon, eat some cake, marathon Gossip Girl - whatever indulgent thing you feel like.
Tomorrow is going to be brighter because you gave yourself today.
When you’re faced with a decision (big or small) and you can’t seem to choose, generally one of two things are at play. Either you truly don’t know what you want yet OR anxiety has a hold on you. As a recovered OCD and generally anxious girl I know the latter all too well. Making even the smallest decision could leave me with the fear that my world could come crashing down in seconds. If this fear is something you identify with - read on. If not, well you can read on too or check out this cute dog photo.
What to do when anxiety has it’s hold on you? One or more of these three things will come in handy:
- Call it what it is. When I feel anxiety creeping in or even when my head is spinning so fast I don’t even know what I want anymore, I call anxiety out for what it is. Once I can identify it, it begins to lose it’s power. I’m not trying to push it away or call it names. I’m simply acknowledging its presence. So many of our feelings just want to be acknowledged. It doesn’t mean they’re right, wrong or even sane, they just need to know we’ve heard them. Once you do that you’ll often see it dissipate and you’ll be left wondering what you were so afraid of.
- Write about it. Whenever I get super in the throws of an anxiety party I take some time out and write to my Higher Guide about it. Don’t have a Higher Guide or not sure how to access it? Just pull out some paper or a notebook and write to it as you would any letter. You can address it by name or just write “Higher Guide” at the top. For a more comprehensive overview - watch this video. When you can access that all-knowing wiser part of you - anxiety doesn’t stand a chance. Sometimes a quick (or long if you’re feeling it) meditation can help you get deeper into a groove. There are some great tracks to try here that take the question out of how to meditate properly.
- Just ask “What do I want?”. When we’re really anxious we stop thinking in terms of simplicity. Everything becomes complicated and intricate generally for no good reason. If you can take a second to pause and ask yourself “What do I actually want?” You’ll be surprised by what may come up. It can be helpful to put a hand on your heart or stomach (gut) when you ask since our deeper knowing comes from these areas. When you get an answer - FOLLOW THROUGH. I know how scary it can be to follow through with a decision in the middle of an anxiety attack but trust me, if you can make it through a few uncomfortable minutes afterwards you’ll come out the other side healthier and more confident in your ability to choose.
Also know that sometimes you’re not ready for a decision, you may need some more information. In those instances don't be shy, ask for more time. Give yourself an opportunity to really check-in with yourself, do some research and write about it.
Does any of this resonate with you? How do you deal with anxiety? Leave your comments below. I love hearing from you!
We all want to be liked. It’s human nature to crave belonging and community. We want to be most popular among our peers.
Where we misstep here is trying to be like others. Not only until we let our freak flags fly and our own true inner essence to come through do we truly become magnetic.
Why would you not be good enough as you are? I’m sure you could go ahed and make a whole list. In fact, do that make a list of all the reasons you’re not good enough in life.
Now read this list out loud.
Now laugh at each one.
Go ahead, don’t think too much about it, just laugh at them. Now take that paper say “No thank you” and rip it up.
Take out another piece of paper and write down the reasons you are worthwhile. Write down all those unique qualities that make you you.
Now read those out loud and after each one say “thank you”.
Now at the bottom of that paper write “ I choose to let these parts of me shine.”
Now fold up the paper and keep it somewhere safe.
You can refer back if you ever feel stuck. You are you for a reason. You have your own unique set of abilities and special sauce to give the world. Own that and people can’t help thinking “Who’s that girl/guy” and be instantly drawn to you.
We all have days where we feel like Beyonce and other days where we feel like this guy:
Here are 5 tips on getting your Beyonce back:
1. Give yourself a little credit.
Not feeling your best? Think of a couple of genuine compliments you can give yourself. No matter how crappy you feel about your appearance you can think of something. It doesn’t have to be physical it can be about your personality or kind thing you did.
2. Do something kind if you haven’t already.
A friend of mine once told me when I was having an off-day to go put some money in someone’s almost expired meter. I have to tell you, it worked! You can buy the person behind you their drink at the coffee shop or give someone a genuine compliment or both! (Hint: don’t be shy about compliments. No sane person is going to get mad at you when you tell them their outfit is cute)
3. Get a little glam.
Sometimes if I’m not feeling my sparkliest I just decide to do a home glamour day. I pour myself a glass of champs, pull out the curling iron and throw on some super sick remixes. It’s called fabulous self-care and it’s awesome.
Yea, yea sounds like too much work but it’s actually not! There are some incredible tracks you can purchase for cheap (heatherhayward.com) that get you in the space faster and easier. It’s like a massage for your brain & body that can instantly rejuvenate you and stop all those nasty thoughts you may be having about yourself.
So you’re inner Beyonce isn’t showing up maybe that’s because you need to appreciate YOU a bit more. Think of all the things you’re grateful for. It can be as simple as the air you breathe. Gratitude can light you up in a way no hair blowing fan machine can.
What do you do to access your inner Beyonce? Tweet me @TheFancyHippie to keep the conversation going.
Bravery is easier said than done. Some of us are extremely courageous, always going out on a limb. Some of us are more timid & shy, quicker to keep to ourselves rather than engaging with others. Some of us may be a combination of both. No matter which of these we are, one thing is surely in common:
We’ve all found ourselves in situations where we want to call upon our courage.
It could be anything from talking to someone who intimidates you, asking a favor, speaking your mind or perhaps taking a new adventure. Here are 3 questions to ask yourself to help dig up that much needed courage in the moment:
- Will the result of my doing/saying this result in a positive outcome? If the answer is yes, focus on getting to the other side. By realizing only good can come from this action step it will help ease your fears. If you aren’t sure….
- What is the worst that can happen if I __________. Really start to think about it. Once we realize the worst isn’t so bad we’re able to find our voice much faster. Or perhaps this will stop you from doing what you were thinking about doing. Really break it down.
- Does this resonate with who I am as a person. Forget about your personality traits and focus on the bigger picture here. Will doing/saying this help expand you in a way you’ve been desiring? By saying something will you finally be speaking your truth? Be honest here. Still not sure? Putting a hand on your heart when you ask this question will help. It immediately shifts you more into answering from your whole being. Try it next time you feel stuck.
And don’t forget, practice makes perfect so though it may seem uncomfortable at first you’ll eventually get the hang of it and Courage will be your middle name!
What do you do to access your courage? Tweet me @TheFancyHippie to keep the conversation going.
If one more person calls another woman "too (fill in the blank)" I may !@#$%^&*(). No, but seriously, can we stop with the body shaming? It's 2015, haven't we come far enough where we can stop treating women like objects and women can stop comparing ourselves to other women by being downright mean? I'm telling you, no matter how much you criticize another women's abs it still won't make you wake up with a six pack.
But what would happen if we all started loving our bodies instead of knocking them? And what if a fast track way to do that was to stop criticizing other women’s bodies? There is enough body-shaming going on from men towards women, why should women be part of the problem? If we want it to stop we need to pledge to end it NOW. A little secret: When we judge others it’s usually because we’re not feeling confident in something about ourselves. So next time you think to make some comment on another women’s body that is not positive,
I challenge you to pause and instead send love to some part of your own body.
Especially to the parts of you you don’t really like (you know what they are).
Let’s begin body praising instead of body shaming.
An added bonus? Once you start loving your body, your body returns the favor. You’ll exercise more because you'll want to keep yourself healthy and you won’t deprive yourself or overeat food because your body begins to let you know when it’s full. Body praising is a mutuality beneficial experience.
Let’s start changing the game. It is our responsibility to not only set the example for a future generation of women but also to all the men around us to begin doing the same. And then maybe you can get that six-pack for reals.
We all want to be in love. That ooey, gooey feeling that makes us feel safe, happy & delirious with butterflies is pretty awesome (the non-stop sex helps too). But it can be a tough market out there these days with us more involved in our cell phones rather than those around us. We’ve forgotten a bit how to connect and what we’re really worth. Here are my 3 tips to stop & start doing to make dating fun & find your perfect match:
STOP: Spending all your time updating your status, taking photos of your experience and only engaging with those you came with. Try living in the present when you go out. You can tell the world about it when you get home.
START: Making connections. Dating expert, Laurel House suggests that every time you go to a bar, party or other social gathering you need to make it your mission to connect with people. Make eye contact with everyone - even those you aren’t romantically interested in. This sends the signal to all those around you that you’re open to meeting new people. By sending out this invitation you’re more likely to meet that person you do want to go on a date with.
STOP: Second guessing yourself. If you’re not attracted to someone you’re not attracted to someone. Just because your friends want you to date a guy/girl doesn’t mean you have to.
START: At least giving the guy/girl a chance. This needn’t be more than one date if you’re not into it but at least TRY. You’d be surprised what you can discover about people. Someone who may not seem like your type on the surface could turn out to be your dream partner.
STOP: Thinking of every date as a test. This isn’t some end all be all scenario. When you’re constantly worried what someone thinks about you you aren’t able to fully be yourself. This goes for all relationships, not just dating.
START: Having fun with dating. This is a chance for you to genuinely get to know someone new. Ask lots of questions to help keep the focus on them & the pressure off you. You may even learn some pretty awesome stuff in the process. Plus, if the date is horrible chances are you’ll at least have an entertaining story for your friends the next day. So either way you win!
What are your favorite dating tips? What has worked for you in the past?
For more great tips on finding your match read these gems!(Screwing the Rules: The No-Games Guide to Love & The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships)
February 14th is just around the corner but this year doesn't have to be overly sentimental or a war on love. Make this day about showing love in a different way...and if you still want to use it as an excuse to eat the WHOLE box of chocolates, who am I to stop you;)